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Mar. 23rd, 2008 @ 09:37 pm (no subject)
 
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Mar. 5th, 2008 @ 04:53 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
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Mar. 5th, 2008 @ 04:19 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: contentcontent
 
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Feb. 25th, 2008 @ 04:55 am Misfortune shows those who are not really friends.- Aristotle
 What happens when the last time you remember seeing someone and seeing how they looked at you, then the next time you look at them, it completely changes? I know I may do just that to Mikayla... I don't exactly want to, but with certain people I never let my eyes lie. She's one of them.

I know the last time she saw my eyes I simply felt hurt, of course, but I also had a hint of knowing. I knew it was going to happen, and she knew full well that I myself knew. Before that, though, I held only warmth for her in my eyes. Smiling and everything else. Now, though, I'll have cold eyes towards her. I know I will, because that's how I am. I don't want to, by all means, but I know I will. Let's hope she gets to see my eyes change for the better this time.

I've been told I have a peircing stare. I wish I actually knew if I did or not or when I did, even. Then I would know when to truly soften my eyes when it called for such. For this post, I'd mostly like to know if I really do have peircing eyes/ a peircing stare or not. If I do, then give me an example if you can.

Body language and eyes never lie, lol.
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Feb. 20th, 2008 @ 02:27 am All love that has not friendship for its base, is like a mansion built upon sand.- Ella W. Wilcox
Current Mood: happyhappy
I've been in an abnormally good mood these past few days. Since I've been with Ryo I've been alot less...stressed? Lol. Anne will know what I mean. XD But, man, he's a great guy. I really do love him, believe it or not. But both of us agreed on a few certain things. ^-^ So I'm still looking for someone, but I'm taking my sweet time about it. He's just...wow. I'm almost speachless when it comes to him, lol. He makes me laugh, smile, cry, happy, angery...all at once. If I could describe him in one word? Undescribable.

When I've talked to Trent recently I sound really cold and harsh, but I'm not. I don't mean it like that at all, and the way he acts tells me it hurts him. I don't want to hurt him, but I feel I need to get to know him all over again. I don't know...><

With Mikayla? I love the girl to death, but damn. I have NO idea what's going on with her. Don't know what to do with her either.

*sigh* But I'm still in a good mood!!! XD I'M GETTING MY TONGUE PEIRCED AND MY TATTOO SOON. Ok, I'm done...
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Feb. 19th, 2008 @ 02:17 am Why I'm excited. XD
Current Mood: excitedexcited
I'm freakin excited as all get out!!! Omg... I'm getting my tongue peirced, for certain. That alone makes me giddy. It's just so exciting. I'm getting it done on thursday, I believe. It's just...wow...exciting. Oh, oh, and then there's the fact that I'm turning 18! I mean, I'm always excited about a birthday, but this time I get something that I've always wanted... A tattoo. XD Yay-ness! Or as my good buddy Travis would say: "Fag tastic!" lol I'm finally getting my tattoo... heh... Oh, and I'm going to sketch a picture for Travis' birthday, which that alone is exciting. ^-^ I get to sketch a jew-fro... (No, he's not actually a jew. Just a guy with a white man fro.) I'M JUST ALL SORTS OF EXCITED!!!!!!! I'm in an extremely good mood, can't ya tell? XD
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Feb. 13th, 2008 @ 05:04 pm Never forget what you once had
Current Location: living room
Current Mood: contentcontent
So, things are sorta looking up for me, I think. I'm more or less over past relationships and what not. I know I want to go for Anne but I'm still unsure about that. I'm actually almost ready to just leave it for a good while. I know she's confused and isn't QUITE sure of exactly what she wants, which I understand. I know what happened before really hurt her, I understand that. It took a hard blow to both of our feelings for eachother, I'm sure of that much. I'm giving her pleanty of time to rethink things. I need it too, so it's all good. I'm not 100% sure of what I want either, so I'm seriously giving these things some thought. As long as she is comfortable with her choice then I'm fine. I'm just going to leave it for however it goes. ^-^ No matter what I'm there for her, so no worries, eh?

I talked to Trent last night. It was a pretty good talk too, I think. He told me that because I'm thinking things through so much that it's a sign that I honestly care that much. It made me smile when he said it, made me feel a bit better about a few things. So, yeah...I think that's sorta about it with that.

I'm getting my tongue re-peirced!!!! Which is exciting. This time I'm certainly going to keep it, though. I just gotta be sure I get a new bar rather than keep the starter bar. Last time I kept the starter bar in it tore my tongue up because it was so long. I've learned, lol. So this time I will be getting a new one right away and once it heals I'll switch it out. Oh man, I can't believe I'm getting it back!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's exciting for me. I'll have something to play with again....*grins*

Well, that's about it. Love you all!!!!!! XD
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Jan. 28th, 2008 @ 06:53 pm Death and Truth
Current Location: room
Current Mood: indifferentindifferent

I could only watch as my mouth opened with a silent scream. He was going to tear her apart! No matter how much I screamed and struggled, I was still held down by those invisible bonds. Fear was over powering my senses. Her blood touched my face, dripping down my soft skin. She was dead and gone, no longer in this world of mine.

He smiled as he turned to me, her body slumping to the floor with a soft thud. I could hear by own heart beat and the rush of blood with each powerful stroke of the muscle. He came to one knee in front of me, lifting my chin up lightly. “Do not fear me, my love, for you are mine. I would not harm something so precious to me,” he said to me gently. Finally, I could tear my eyes away from her form. This beast, this creature, had taken the one thing that mattered to me.

The back of my eyes began to sting as I looked into his own cold, harsh and hate-filled ones. I couldn’t bring myself to be angered with him. The thought passed through my mind only for a brief moment, just enough to know it was there at one time. Then it was gone, forever forgotten. I studied his face with my gaze, wonder just what he was thinking.

“Don’t worry, love. You will learn to love me.” He then lifted me to my feet and into his arm, holding me close to him. The only thing warm against me was her blood on his cold flesh. I looked over his shoulder into her lifeless eyes. They seemed accusing and hurt. She was blaming me, I know it! She no longer cared for me, did she? All because I knew. I knew very well whom she loved. I knew very well she would never have that one person, but I stayed with her. I had no choice, for I loved her back. I would just never have to learn to love this man who killed her, for I have always loved him.



So, this was a random story-ish thing that I decided to write. I don't know what to think of it yet.

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Jan. 26th, 2008 @ 05:36 pm Hmm.
Current Location: room
Current Mood: optimisticoptimistic and contemplative
Current Music: Wolf in sheep clothing and You can count on me
 This is kinda weird. After all this drama was thrown around and what not, I feel kinda alone. I mean, I've been hanging out with my boyfriend and his best friend more than with my own best friends. Kinda sad, to say the least. Granted, I love to hang out with my boyfriend and his friend! Actually, I don't have that much of a problem with it. It's the fact that I can't help but feel like I lost a tiny peice of myself through all this. Kinda difficult to explain fully. I almost feel like I'm being avoided, mostly. Granted, I'm not talking to them either, but that's because the last times I tried to talk to them they kinda...went off in the oposite direction I expected. I figure I'll leave them alone untill they decide they have something new to say to me and hope for the best. I miss one of them horrably, actually. No...two of them. The third I never got to spend a whole lot of time with so, this isn't anything too new for me. Eh. But with one of them they're busy in a relationship, so I can understand. But the last one I feel not ignored by...but avoided. I'm actually doing pretty good after what happened and want to get things settled that were left untouched. I want all the cards on the table so I know. No more hiding things up the sleeve kinda thing. I think I've threw all my own cards on the table. And if I find a new one, then I'll toss that one out there as well. I'm willing to answer questions and everything. I'm even willing to ask questions if I have any. (I don't right now, but I might.) Mental break downs are a pain in the ass, really... >.>

Ok, on  a more cheery note!! I saw Meet the Spartans. One of the stupidest movies ever, but it was funny! Lol. I even met two people, which is pretty cool I guess. I doubt I'll ever feel the urge to get to know them, but they seemed pretty cool. One of them was freakin hallarious, though. She's so tiny and what not, but she was ready to rip someone's head off! Talking all this shit and stuff...one of the funniest things ever. It was great. Then we saw two fights at the mall. Also funny. The first one looked like it was between two 6th graders. The second was between two black kids. The first one was great, though!! They were hitting eachother and what not, then as soon as one of them saw a yellow security guard shirt, he took off. He booked it outta there, it was great! Thinking about it makes me want to giggle like a fairy boy wearing a skirt on a saturday night with his boyfriend. XD

Eh, so all in all, there's some of my thoughts! ^-^
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Jan. 25th, 2008 @ 12:35 am Wow...i mean wow....
 

Holy hell... 98% correct of how I feel right now. I mean wow.... I'm amazed!!!!! XD
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