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Apr. 2nd, 2008 @ 01:55 am A plus side to life.
Current Location: my room
Current Mood: complacentcomplacent
Current Music: Mizerable-Gackt
So life has been good for me, to be honest. I got to spend time with my Panda today, which was wonderful. It was really nice. It seems to ease my mind a bit to know that no matter how much stress and strife I have, the next time I see her I get to be held. Held knowing for a fact that there's more behind it all than simple friendship. If we were to end it with eachother, that'd be fine. But I see this lasting longer than expected. Perhaps not forever, but long enough to satisfy me. I mean, we ARE each going our own ways. Which is fine. But just to know that when she holds me I'm actually being held is enough for me. At least for now. So far so good! ^-^

I know that Josh will be stepping into the picture soon, though, and I will have to tempt everything that's been happening. I know I DO get the freedom with him when he visits that I desire, thanks to my Panda. I talked to her about me and him and she knows what's going on and what might happen. I also talked to Josh before I dated her and decided to go for it. He understands that I will have that freedom when I see him and accepts it. I love him at least as much as I do Mikayla. I'd never let his friendship go, no matter what were to happen. I'm confident that both him and Mikayla understand at least the jist of the situation. I'm feeling so much better lately, though, it's suprising. I love being in a relationship that I can see honestly going somewhere. I get that from both Mikayla and Josh, and I'm going to find out where it takes me. It just feels like so many doors are opening up around me and I love that feeling.

I'm starting GED classes on the 7th. Or at least going to try to. On the 7th I have to go take the test to see where they place me or what they need to teach me. I'm really getting ready to do this, believe it or not. I'm finally setting my feet on the path of life and taking those first steps. Tiny steps, but steps. I'm confident I'm ready for what life gives me. I know that I will have my family and friends behind me. With that, I'm nearly untouchable. I believe myself to be ready, but that could always change. I'm going to put that stubborness I have to a good use and try to push through life into the open. I believe that this is what I want.
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